October 12th, 2006

Portrait of an artist as a young mother

I just got done reading my friend Katie's Blog. She is taking dance lessons. She is writing poetry. She is going to grad school. She is becoming an artist. And I am jealous. I want to be an artist too. So I started to write this entry. Trying, in vain, to be a poet too. I wanted to write a blog about all the "lessons" I have learned since I became a mother. But everything sounded so cheesey and cliche. It was all love, and unconditional love, and love of mother, and loving my husband. It was okay... But it wasn't art. So instead I decided to post a picture of my masterpiece. I'll leave art for another day.

October 6th, 2006
Sorry about the slight delay in my reply. Thank you all so much for your warm wishes, and prayers. Just a quick update... Jack's test have all looked really good thus far. He's EEG was clear, and his CAT scan was clear as well. By the way, this is a post EEG picture with his EEG hair. There was still a lot of electrode glue in it when we got home from the hospital, so we had a little fun. We are waiting to see a nurologist... But they are booked solid. Our appointment isn't until November. They said that his development is so good, and the episodes don't seem to bother him, that they aren't too concerned about getting him in sooner... I wonder what not being too concerned feels like. The good news is that his "episodes" are few and far between. So I guess we'll just wait and see.

In other news, Jack has learned how to make serveral new sounds (including a sucking sound made by pulling his lip against his two little teeth, and a clicking sound with his tounge), and he now pulls himself up onto stuff... Meaning a whole new level of things to get into. He has this tinkle in his eye that just spells trouble. He has also recently become a blankie man. He is quite fond of sucking on his thumb and holding on to his green blanket from Grandma Londa. It just makes my heart melt everytime he does it. It is just such a baby thing, and makes me feel like a mom everytime I see it.

More news when we have it.

October 1st, 2006
It comes in three's
People say that bad news comes in three's. Last week it was Chris's Grandmother, and this week it has hit closer to home. On Wednesday night Jack had a brief episode where he rolled his eyes into the back of his head several times. Being the worrier I am, I called the doctor who told us not to worry, and just watch him. On Thursday it happened again (luckily the doctor on Wednesday suggested we tape it, and so we got proof), we went to the our doctor, who agreed it was something. On Friday we were admitted to Dornbecher's Children's hospital, were they gave Jack a CAT scan and an EEG (all those little electrodes reading Jack's brain waves.... I don't know who cried more... me or him). We came home last night, with the promise for more information by Monday and an appointment with a baby brain specialist (I can't spell the technical term). The doctors who looked at him said that with the information they have so far they think he is having "partial complex seisures" (I don't think I spelled that right either), but that everything else is so great, that they may never really bother him... But we need to wait until we talk to the specialist. I am a worrier. I am sick right now. I can't eat, and I sleep out of pure necessity. I don't know how to describe to you all how much I love him. It is all consuming. Feeling helpless, when your instinct is to give everything in your power to help, is the most horrible feeling in the world. However, the other instinct I have is that he will be fine. It is almost peace that comes to me, and reassures me that he will pull out of this unharmed. I am sorry that I haven't called to tell each of you this news personally. I just don't have the energy to give to anyone but Jack right now. I hope you all understand. But I also wanted you to know so that you can call on whatever higher power you have faith in... Whether it is God, Buddha, grace, or just an energy that connects us all. Pull it in now, and send a little bit to Jack if you can. I love you all. I'll be in contact with more news as soon as I have it.